Let the Beauty of what you Love be what you Do...
~Rumi

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I Have a Dream...


"Dreams are illustrations...from the book your Soul is writing about you."
~Marsha Norman


 I took Drawing 1 during my first quarter of returning to school last year to study Art. I've always thought that people had an innate talent for drawing, or they did not. I did not. My professor, however was brilliant about encouragement, insisting that drawing skills could in fact be learned. I never took to it much... but I felt it was certainly a good exercise for me, to show up for class each session & continue to work at something I felt I had simply no talent for. Notice that I have put LOTS of other beginner work on this blog- but no drawing... until now. For our final project we had to do a series of 3 drawings that represented something about ourselves. For one of those drawings, I chose to draw my dream home. As you can see, it is nothing special... a simple home with open space, (although in reality it would have a couple more rooms & an extra bath for guests!) I'm posting it now, because it has been on my mind for at least the last 5 years or so.... but even more so now that I am back in school. If anyone has been following this blog... you know that I have been struggling with my decision to return to school in terms of financial output. Each quarter I go, my savings is depleted more & more, and the further I am financially from some day having a simple little home somewhere out in the country (with a little Art studio- funny how I didn't draw in the extra bedrooms, but managed to draw a rather large studio!) I just question a lot lately if I am making the right choice at this stage in the game. It's not that I question going to school at this age (42)... who cares how old you are, & I really enjoy learning! I love making Art & exploring the different mediums & techniques to see what it is I'm good at, and what I totally suck at. It's just at this age, I think, "O.K, this'll cost me around 25-30 grand in tuition by the time I finish, not to mention throwing away money on rent..." (since I've been schooling more & working less, I seriously doubt I could get financed if there was anything I could afford anyhow!) I've already paid back the Government 32 grand in previous student loans which took a long time to pay off... sometimes working at jobs & locations where I was miserable... just getting through. I'm just trying to figure out if I'm making the right decisions for myself at this point in my life, or if I should go back to the drawing board as it were. No, I don't need a degree to make Art. And a degree does not by any means suggest I could actually make some sort of living from it. Honestly, I'm thinking I need to shift gears on what is really important to me. Having a home is so important on so many levels. The feeling of security, a sense of place, a place to rest & call your own. Having traveled for work the past 5 years, moving stuff in & out of storage every 2-3 months... I just long for one place where I know where all my things are! Even since arriving here last year to pursue school- I've packed up & left twice during summer & winter breaks to return to my travel job to make cash to continue. Damn if I don't want it all. A home, the chance to continue my Art Education, time to pursue my other dreams, (long distance hiking, traveling...) but for now, I'm just reevaluating & hoping that I can come up with some new idea on how to make it all work...

3 comments:

Gail said...

The solution will come, it is already there, you just must see it.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

I'm sure your dream will come true ... your incredible mind will surely produce the solution for you. It's working on it right now!

Brian Leverton said...

Hi Becky, Your professor was right you can learn to draw you just have to learn the techniques, I am shure all your dreams will come true you just have to work at it and be positive. Brian